|
|
Domestic Abuse
This page is about domestic abuse, what to do about it and where you can gain help, advice and support if you or someone
you know is experiencing it.
It also provides limited guidance about your rights in areas such as legal proceedings,
housing, and money. Should you require further information it can be obtained from the organisations listed.
|
|
|
INFORMATION
Domestic abuse cuts across social, racial and cultural boundaries. There is no typical abuser,
however, the majority of abuse is perpetrated by men against women. Abuse also occurs in same sex and transgender relationships,
can involve other family members, including children and can be perpetrated by women against men.
In most
cases domestic abuse is not an isolated
incident and it often worsens over time.
Domestic abuse is serious
and sustained and can be life threatening “Domestic abuse can
be perpetrated by partners or ex-partners and can include physical abuse (assault and physical attack
involving a range of behaviour), sexual abuse (acts which degrade and humiliate women and are perpetrated
against their will, including rape) and mental and emotional abuse (such as threats, verbal abuse, racial abuse,
withholding money and other types of controlling behaviour such as isolation from family and friends)”
National Strategy to Address Domestic Abuse in Scotland.
|
| |
|
|
|
You are not alone:
|
There are people who are concerned about you and want to help. This handbook can help you. One in four women will be
in an abusive relationship in their lifetime, many on more than one occasion. It can happen to anyone regardless of sex, race,
class, religion, income and lifestyle.
|
|
You do not deserve to be abused:
|
It is a crime to physically hurt or threaten someone. No one has the right to harm you even if they are your spouse,
child, parent or partner.
|
|
You are not to blame:
|
You are not the cause of another person’s violent behaviour. Abuse is a choice. Your abuser does not have
to use violence or control you, but they choose to.
|
|
You cannot change your abuser’s behaviour:
|
The only way an abuser will change is if he/she realises they have a problem and they seek help for their behaviour.
It won’t matter what you try to do to pacify them and it won’t make much difference. Abusers like to be
in control and do not often want to give it up.
|
|
| |
IGNORING VIOLENCE IS DANGEROUS Domestic violence is a repeat crime and rarely happens just once. It often gets worse the longer it goes on.
Many abusers are very sorry after an attack and promise to stop the behaviour or the drinking etc. You may feel sorry
for them and agree to stay. The sad truth is that improvements do not often last long and when the violence returns
it’s often worse than before. In some cases domestic abuse ends in murder. TELL SOMEONE - DON'T FEEL ISOLATED
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you may feel humiliated,
ashamed, frightened, confused and isolated. You are not to blame: seek help from someone you trust or contact one of
the many organisations dedicated to helping you. The longer you stay silent, the more isolated you will become and the
harder it will be to take action.
|
|
| |
The long-term effects of domestic abuse to children who witness, or are used
in the abuse as well as the main victim include: physical injury, poor health and a range of psychological difficulties. Admitting
to yourself and to others that you are a victim of domestic abuse may be difficult but it is important that you make the first
step towards protecting yourself and your children.
|
|
| |
THERE IS LIFE AFTER AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Abusers
lie to control you - saying things like “you’re ugly/stupid/no-one else would want you - you’ll
never manage on your own”. In fact you’ll find that this is not true. Almost all women that have left
talk of the joy of finding this out for themselves. Many women start new loving and rewarding relationships that they
never would have thought possible.
Taking the first step may feel very difficult right now, but by leaving
you have the chance to start afresh. You can leave
an abusive environment; you can live in a safe, non-violent home; you can provide a healthy
environment for yourself and your children, and most of all you can take back control of your life.
|
|
| |
PLANNING YOUR SAFETY If
you plan to leave
1) ESCAPE IF YOU CAN. Whenever
you believe you are in danger, leave. Go to a friend or relative’s house or a shelter. Practice escape routes.
Try to leave when your partner is not at home.
2) MAKE A LIST OF EMERGENCY NUMBERS and find somewhere you can quickly
and easily use a phone. Identify someone who you can stay with and possibly borrow money from.
3) PACK A
BAG. Keep it in a secret but accessible place or with someone you trust so you can leave quickly. Remember to include:
- Money for transport (bus, train or taxi)
- An extra set of keys for the house, car etc.
- Clothes for you and any dependents
- Any medicines
you or your children depend on
4) OPEN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT in your name.
5) TELL SOMEONE you can trust (doctor, friend or relative) and consider visiting a support service (solicitor, citizens
advice bureau) to discuss your options.
6) DISCUSS THE ESCAPE PLAN WITH YOUR CHILDREN and let them know that you
might have to leave in a hurry.
Try to take important documents: marriage/ birth certificates, court orders, national
health cards, passports, driving licence, benefit books, address book, bank/cheque books, credit cards.
If you plan to stay
1) REMOVE POTENTIAL WEAPONS from the house if possible and stay away
from rooms where you can’t remove them when an argument starts.
2) IDENTIFY
NEIGHBOURS you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance.
3) DEVISE A CODE to use with you children, family, friends and neighbours when you need them to call
the police.
4) CREATE A SAFE ROOM where you can lock yourself in to call and
wait for help. Equip yourself with a way to lock the door (a bolt, a key that you can keep, or a wedge), and a phone
to call your emergency contacts or the police (preferably a mobile so that you can keep numbers handy and prevent your partner
from controlling the connection).
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
LEGAL RIGHTS Abuse and harassment is illegal and you can use the law to protect you and your children.
It is useful to collect evidence such as family and neighbours who can confirm what happened. See a doctor to ensure
physical injuries are recorded. Keep abusive texts or notes that have been sent to you. Call and talk to
the police.
Using the law can feel daunting so it is best to speak with people who can give you advice and help
you through it. Contact Women’s Aid, Citizens Advice or Victim Support. They can help you find experienced
solicitors that will help you to take legal action.
Usually, a first appointment is free but you should
check first to make sure. If you are unable to pay you may be entitled to Legal Aid. Citizens Advice and Women’s
Aid can advise you. In an emergency, a solicitor can still take action before Legal Aid is decided but you will need
to check with with your solicitor first.
There are three main types of legal action you can take:
- Exclusion
order.
- Interdicts.
- Non-harassment order.
Your solicitor can also apply for
the power of arrest to be attached to these legal actions meaning that if your partner breaks the conditions, the police can
make an arrest without a warrant. An abuser could then face court and a fine or imprisonment, but remember to keep any evidence.
Exclusion OrdersIf you have occupancy rights (if you are married or a sole or joint owner or tenant
- see Housing for full details including how to gain occupancy rights if they are not automatic). A court can order that your partner
must stay away from your home. You may also be able to apply for an interim exclusion order and interdict to give
you emergency protection until a full order is granted.
|
|
Interdicts
A court can ban your abuser from certain types of behaviour such as threats and assaults.
You can get an interdict to stop them coming near your home, work or children’s school. An interdict can also
stop your abuser from contacting you and from doing other things. There are different ways to apply for an interdict
so you will need advice about what is the best solution for you.
For emergencies, you can ask a solicitor to apply
for a temporary order that takes 24 to 48 hours. This lasts seven days and will give you time to decide what to do next.
|
|
Non-harassment order
A court can ban someone from harassing you for example, by constant calls or any
action that frightens or distresses you. Non-harassment orders are often applied at the same time as other legal action
but if you can show at least two occasions of harassment, you can also apply directly for a non-harassment order.
|
If your partner breaks any legal action you should inform your solicitor or the police immediately. If you are threatened
or assaulted, call 999, even if no power of arrest has been given. When you contact the police, tell them about any
legal order that has been granted.
|
|
| |
HOUSING Staying in your own home
You could have the right to make an abusive partner leave
so that you can stay in your own home safely. You might have to go to court to remove them and make them stay away.
(see Your Legal Rights for more information).
Occupancy rights establish if you or your partner have the right
to stay in your home. They apply to owned properties and rented accommodation. - If a property is in your name, either solely or jointly, you have occupancy rights.
- If you are married or in a civil partnership you have occupancy rights to your shared
home, whoever’s name it is in.
- If you are not married or
in a civil partnership and the property is just in your name, your partner has no occupancy rights and no legal right to stay.
- If you do not have occupancy rights but want to stay you can apply to a court to
have them granted to you for up to six months at a time.
Making
your partner leave
If your partner has no occupancy rights you do not need a court order to remove them.
You can change the locks when they are out or ask the police to remove them if they refuse to go. You can also apply to the
court for an ejection order. You may also need to apply to the court for other legal action to keep them from harassing you.
If your partner does have occupancy rights you can get an Exclusion Order (see Your Legal Rights ) to remove them.
Leaving
your home
If you need to leave your home because of domestic abuse, you have a right to temporary and permanent
housing provided by the local council. You are considered as being in “priority need” for housing and should
be assessed as “homeless” even if you have accommodation, if you cannot get into it or there is a threat from
a partner or ex-partner if you continue to live there. It is also possible to transfer to another council area for safety
reasons.
The council has a duty to provide emergency accommodation and Women’s Aid also operates a network of safe
refuges.
To gain permanent housing you can apply to the council housing department or you can also find housing
through social landlords or the private sector. If the council refuses you housing you may be able to appeal.
To
get advice on housing it is recommended that you speak to an adviser from Grampian Women’s Aid or the Citizens Advice
Bureau.
Disability Living Allowance
If you or a child you care for has a disability or serious
illness you may be able to get help to pay for care or assistance in getting around. Citizens Advice can provide information.
|
|
| |
MONEY Money can be a big worry for you if you want to leave an abusive
partner. They may even have scared you by saying that you’ll be destitute if you leave them.
If you have
to leave home because of domestic violence there are welfare benefits to support you. You can get advice about entitlement
from the Benefits Agency or Citizen’s Advice. If you are not a UK or EU citizen, you may not be able to claim
these benefits, but should ask the agencies if this applies to your visa.
Income
support & Job Seeker’s Allowance
If you are aged between 16-59 and are
on a low or no income you can claim Income Support from the Benefits Agency. It will provide a small income, rent for
accommodation through Housing Benefit and will entitle you to receive other services for free such as school meals, prescriptions
and legal aid.
If you do not qualify for Income Support you may be entitled to Job Seeker’s Allowance
instead. You apply for these at your local Jobcentre Plus.
Pension
& Tax Credit
If you are over 60 you can apply for Pension Credit to instead
of Income Support. To check whether you are eligible and for more information on how to apply call the Pension Service on
0800 99 1234.
If you are on a low wage and work at least 30 hours per week
(or 16 hours if you have children) you can also apply for Working Tax Credits, call the Credit Helpline on 0800 991 234.
If you have dependent children you can claim Child Tax Credits.
If you receive other benefits then your local Jobcentre Plus will help you with the forms. Otherwise contact
the Tax Credit Helpline directly on 0845 300 3900.
Housing
Benefit
If you receive Income Support you will probably get full Housing Benefit,
although if you rent from the private rented sector, this may not cover the full cost of your rent. If you don’t
get Income Support you can still be assessed for help with the cost of your rent.
To
apply for Housing Benefit from the council office call 01224 346789.
Loans & Grants
If you need help to live independently you may be able to
get a Community Care Grant (you do not have to pay this back).
To get help in an
emergency you can apply for an interest free Crisis Loan.
If you are on low income
but need help buying furniture or have other important costs you can apply for an interest free Budget Loan
You can apply for these at Jobcentre Plus.
|
|
| |
AGENCIES THAT CAN HELP
|
|
| |
GRAMPIAN WOMEN'S AID
Supporting women and children
who have experience of domestic abuse.
It can be in a one-off phone call or contact over many years.
You can get
support whether or not you are living with your partner.
You can phone or visit. You don’t need an appointment
but it is recommended that you phone in advance. If your partner is abusive, you can get support from Women’s
Aid.
Women’s Aid can:
- Help you find ways to keep yourself and your children as safe as possible.
- Give
you confidential information and support.
- Tell you about your rights to legal protection, housing and money.
- Provide
a safe place to stay in a refuge (if available) or in local authority emergency accommodation. This can be in your local area
or elsewhere if you prefer.
- Support children living with domestic abuse
- Put you in touch with other services
that can help
We will respect what you tell us and will not judge you. We know that women need to make their
own decisions and choices, and we will try to give you all the information and support you need to decide what to do.
|
6, Bon Accord Crescent Lane,
Aberdeen,
AB11 6DF
Mon-Fri
10am-4pm
Phone 01224 593 381
Helpline 0800 027 1234
grampianwomenaid@aol.com www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk
|
GRAMPIAN POLICE Domestic Abuse Unit Grampian police takes
all incidents of domestic violence seriously and aims to investigate fully.
The force is sensitive of the fear,
distress and suffering domestic abuse can cause and respond with support. Offenders are held accountable through the criminal
justice system.
Always report an incident no matter how minor you think it is. Police officers are trained to help
you. The main role of an attending officer is to investigate. A statement will be taken and past incidents will be looked
at. If you have sustained any injuries a doctor will examine you.
If there is reasonable suspicion and evidence
the abuser will be arrested and charged. He/she will be held in custody until they appear in court the following day. You
will be kept informed throughout the investigation.
IN EVERY REPORTED CASE GRAMPIAN POLICE WILL... - Attend
promptly
- Arrange required medical help
- Be professional, polite and sympathetic
- Take time to find out
exactly what happened
- Be positive, calm and reassuring
- Help you make contact with agencies that can offer
further support and advice
|
If you are injured or the incident is ongoing call 999 and ask for an ambulance
and police If there is no immediate risk call 0845 600 5 700 an officer
will meet you somewhere you find comfortable LOCAL DOMESTIC ABUSE LIAISON UNIT: 01224
306189
www.grampian.police.uk |
|
CITIZENS ADVICE BUREAU CAB provide general advice or specialist advice
on areas of housing (homelessness, eviction, joint tenancy), money (state benefit, debt), children, and employment.
Main contact is through face to face meetings where you can just drop-in, guaranteeing to see you that day although you
may have to wait. Appointments are available but have a 6-8 week waiting list.
|
41 Union Street,
Aberdeen,
AB11 5BN
Mon –
Fri 9.30am -3pm 01224 586255 (Mon & Wed 9.30am-12.30pm and Thu 1.30pm-4.30pm
& 5pm-7.30pm) bureau@aberdeencab.casonline.org.uk www.cas.org.uk
|
|
DOMESTIC ABUSE PROJECT A free, confidential service, providing information
and advice over the telephone, in their office , or wherever best suits you. They have information on available services and
help you to access them, the Project will also accompany you to meetings with other services. Continued support after the
crisis has passed is also offered.
|
Aberdeen City Council,
Exchequer House,
1st Floor,
3 Exchequer Row,
Aberdeen,
Mon – Fri 9.30am- 3.30pm (Term-time only)
0845 345 6766
gmccabe@aberdeencity.gov.uk
|
|
VICTIM SUPPORT ABERDEEN:
Support for people affected by crime including
help and information on the criminal justice system. VSA are independent from the police and provide a confidential
service. You can use their services even if you haven’t reported the abuse to the police. Help can be provided
over the phone, in the office or wherever and whenever suits you.
|
32 Upperkirkgate,
Aberdeen,
AB10 1BA
Mon- Fri: 10am-2pm
01224 622 478
0845 6039 213 (Mon-Thur 9am-4.30pm Fri 9am-4pm)
victimsupport.aberdeen@victimsupportsco.org.uk
www.victimsupportsco.org.uk
|
|
| |
ACCOMMODATION GRAMPIAN WOMEN'S AID:
(see above)
ABERDEEN CITY COUNCIL, HOMELESSNESS SECTION:
The Podium, Ground
Floor
St Nicholas House,
Upperkirkgate,
Aberdeen
Mon-Fri 8.30am-4.45pm
Mon-Fri 4.45–8.30am
(out of hours)
Phone: 01224 522297
Out of hours: 01224 693350 homeless@aberdeencity.gov.uk
For those that are homeless, or threatened with homelessness.
SHELTER:
24 hour helpline: 0808 800 4444
www.shelter.org.uk
ABERDEEN CYRENIANS
Tel: 01224 572877
www.aberdeen-cyrenians.org
For accommodation outside of Aberdeen:
REFUGE
24-hour helpline: 0808 2000 247
www.refuge.org.uk
SAY WOMEN:
Tel: 0141 552 5803
www.say-women.co.uk
|
|
| |
CHILDREN
CHILDREN 1ST
36 Carden Place, Aberdeen
01224 251150
Supports children who have been abused and family conferences to plan the way forward.
SOCIAL SERVICES
01224 332314
SAMARITANS
24-hour helpline: 08457 90 90 90
60 Dee Street, Aberdeen. Open 9am - 10pm
VICTIM
SUPPORT:
(See above)
THE HIDEOUT
www.thehideout.org.uk
NATIONAL CHILD PROTECTION LINE
0800 022 3222 (24-hour)
CHILDLINE
0800 11 11 (24-hour)
N.S.P.C.C
0808 800 5000 (24-hour)
COUNSELLING ABERDEEN COUNSELLING AND INFORMATION SERVICES:
Mon- Wed 5pm-8.30pm
Thurs 9am-8.30pm
Fri 9am-1pm
01224 573892 - to make an initial appointment
www.mha.uk.net RAPE & ABUSE SUPPORT NORTH EAST
Talk to Us - We Listen - We
Believe
88 John Street, Aberdeen, AB25 1LE
Mon-Fri 10am-4pm
Monday & Thursday evenings 7pm-9pm
Helpline
01224 620 772
www.rasane.org.uk
LESBIAN. GAY. BISEXUAL. TRANSGENDER
GRAMPIAN POLICE LGBT LIAISON OFFICER
0845 600 5 700 (and ask to be put through to the LGBT Liaison Officer for your area).
BROKEN RAINBOW
Mon 2pm-8pm
Wed 10am-1pm
Thur 2pm-8pm
0300 999 5428
08452 604460
mail@broken-rainbow.org.uk
PILLAR ABERDEEN
01224 621 266
L.G.B.T
YOUTH Scotland
0131 622 2266
www.lgbtyouth.org.uk
RESPECT
(See Male victims)
|
|
| |
MALE VICTIMS RESPECT
(for men experiencing domestic
violence)
Mon-Fri: 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm
0808 801 0327
info@mensadviceline.org.uk
www.mensadviceline.org.uk
The Men's Advice Line is a confidential helpline for all men experiencing domestic violence by a current or
ex-partner. This includes all men - in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.
ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOUR
ACTION FOR CHILDREN ABERDEEN FAMILIES PROJECT: 1
Balnagask Road,
Aberdeen,
AB11 8HY
Mon-Fri 8.30am-5.30pm
01224 873500
www.actionforchildren.org.uk
Multi agency support where abuse where antisocial behaviour has become a factor.
ALCOHOL & SUBSTANCE ABUSE DRUGS ACTION
Provides
help information and counselling 7 Hadden Street,
Aberdeen,
AB11 6NU
Helpline: 01224 594700
Mon, Tue, Wed, Fri; 11am-1pm & 2pm-5pm,
Thur 2pm–7pm
www.drugsaction.co.uk
ALCOHOL SUPPORT 62 Dee Street,
Aberdeen,
AB11
6DS
Residential Care: 01224 595981
Counselling & Advice: 01224 573887
Mon-Thur: 8am-8pm
Friday:
8.30am-4pm:
Saturday: 8.30am-12.30pm
www.alcoholsupport.co.uk
|
|
| |
ETHNIC MINORITY COMMUNITIES
GRAMPIAN RACIAL EQUALITY COUNCIL 168
Market Street, Aberdeen
AB11 5PP
01224 576798
www.grec.co.uk
MULTI-ETHNIC ABERDEEN LIMITED 15/17 Belmont Street
Aberdeen
AB10 1JR
01224 645268
www.multiethnic.co.uk
ELDER & DISABILITY ABUSE ELDER ABUSE HOTLINE
0808 808
8141
(confidential advice for older people and their friends and families)
VOICE
UK HOTLINE
0870 013 3965
(support and advice for people with learning disabilites)
HEALTH NHS GRAMPIAN:
Aberdeen Royal Infirmary (Hospital)
0845 456 6000
GUM CLINIC:
(Sexual Health issues)
0845
337 9900
The Simpson Pavilion
Woolmanhill Hospital
Aberdeen
AB25 1LD
Grampian.guclinic@nhs.net
GENERAL CONTACTS
CRIMESTOPPERS:
0800 555 111
www.crimestoppersscotland-uk.org
SCOTTISH WOMEN'S AID:
0800 027 1234
www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk
GET CONNECTED
(16-25 year olds):
0808 808 4994
www.getconnected.org.uk
|
|
|
 |
